Relaxing

This is the first weekend in a long time that I actually feel relaxed...

I claimed this "relaxation". I told myself and everyone around me that I needed this weekend to focus on ME. I knew ahead of time that getting back on track with eating was going to take my full attention... And yesterday was great!

I stayed on track with eating. Yes... I was tempted several times. But I made good choices, and did well with the sugar cravings.

Abt 5 bites of diced fruit w/coffee (at Orientation)
1 pc reduced fat string cheese
Egg/egg white omelet w/ reduced fat cheese
1 slice of whole wheat toast (low carb, 1 g. sugar)
sushi roll w/ brown rice, smoked salmon and veggies
1 slim fast (low carb, high protein)
LOTS of water

Yesterday, I only ate when I was hungry. I know that some recommend a lot of smaller meals throughout the day, but there are valid arguments from some for just eating when hungry. Because of my disordered eating, I really think my hunger cues are so messed up that I should try this method for right now.

Last night before bed, I was HUNGRY. It was such a weird feeling! To experience true hunger is a foreign concept to me. So I drank some water, drank a Slim Fast, and felt satisfied.

Yesterday was not a PERFECT day of eating, but I am please. I am off to a good start today, and plan on keeping this momentum going. I already feel SO much better.

I am going to work on lesson plans today so that I can feel organized and ready for the week ahead. I really LOVE being a teacher. Tomorrow begins my fourth week... It's an adventure every day and I feel like I'm getting into a good groove.

I spent a couple of hours yesterday going through 1000+ blogs on Google Reader. I couldn't comment on everything I wanted to, but I feel a little caught up on so many friends. Thanks for the inspiration! If you are a new reader, and your blog isn't in my blogroll, leave a link in the comments. I'd love to ready about you, too!

Again

Sometimes I wonder why I just don't get it...

I have found myself here more times that I want to admit.

Starting over.

Yep.

Again.

I know I am out of control. Again.

I made up my mind that THIS IS THE DAY. No excuses.

I am starting with a sugar detox... I just know that sugar is the root of all my problems. I MUST get past this addiction if I am to succeed. Today, I found myself grabbing a pastry off the breakfast table at my MAE orientation... I took a bite before I even realized what I was doing.... then immediately ran over to the trashcan and spit it out. No excuses. I have to detox so I can regain some sort of control.

My "life" just won't let up.

New career as a teacher is very hectic. So is being a single mom and juggling three kids. But to top it off, my mom is at the point where I fear she is unable to take care of herself and my nephew. The crap has basically hit the fan in that situation... and on top of the new school year starting and getting in the swing of things there, while also being a student myself and trying to complete grad school... and well, everything else... I am so overwhelmed.

And I have started eating my way through the stress. Again.

So, here I am... again... asking for help and support. Blog writing/reading helps me stay focused so you'll see me around more often.

Here we go again!

I am a teacher!

Today is day 4 of my new career as a Special Ed teacher.

Honestly... I think I'm gonna rock it! Even though in these four days I've been spit on, pooped on, bit, pinched, and put in a head-lock, I love it! I am wore out and happy at the same time. This is always what I've wanted to do.

And about my weight loss... Um...

I know I've gained.

I had a house fire a few weeks ago, and that very night I knew I was eating my stress. Everything is ok. My landlord STILL has not made repairs to my garage (the area burned), but at least the inside of the house is fine. The only thing that sucks is that my outlets are all melted down there, and I don't have use of my washer/dryer. I don't even know if they work, since I haven't been able to plug them in since the fire. The outsides are all melted, but I think they still work!

I have a new friend that is motivating me to lose weight. I've asked her to start helping me, since I am not back on a set schedule each day. And also since I am so busy during the day now I forget to eat, and sometimes don't even have time. I am going to take full advantage and get back on some sort of plan to start losing weight instead of gaining it!

I can't wait until I have a chance to catch up on everyone! I miss my blog friends and the motivation/encouragement I get from you. Keep up the great work!

If I Made a Commercial for Trader Joe's

Thanks Lori! Ya'll know I love Trader Joe's!

Vacation....over:(

Well, peeps... my vacation ends tomorrow. I can't believe it's been so long since my last post, but I have been LIVING and truly trying to enjoy the few weeks I was given off before the crazy starts back! I have drastically reduced the amount of time I spend on the computer. My farms on Facebook have even been neglected, lol!

But time away from my blog has NOT meant time away from my weight loss journey. I have really stayed focused. I am still exercising at least 3 - 4 times per week for an hour + each time. I am still doing about 45 minutes cardio and about 20-30 minutes of strength training. I can def tell a difference in the way my clothes fit, and in the way I feel. I feel stronger, and going to the gym is finally feeling like part of my routine. Even on days I don't (can't) go, I think about it and feel compelled to go.

Eating is also still good. I have been on the move so much, it really isn't hard to cut down the AMOUNT of food I eat... My goal is still to improve the QUALITY of food I eat. Now that I am going back to work tomorrow, I will be close to home again and I can see me returning to healthier meals and snacks at home. I've been eating a lot of Subway lately, because I have been on the move...  A LOT. But you know what? It has been so long since I've binged that I can't remember when. That is a victory!

I have been socializing a lot in the last three weeks. That  means my alcohol consumption has gone up. Not terribly, but even one cocktail three times per week can spell disaster when it comes to weight loss for me. But again, that's about to end once school starts back. No late nights and parties for me for quite a while! *sigh*

I am VERY excited about the upcoming school year. I know the first year of teaching can be tough, but I am ready for the challenge. I feel that I work for an awesome school district, and work with awesome teachers, and get awesome support. I will be successful, and I will have an awesome year!

I am so behind on blogs, but I am trying to catch up! I miss you guys, and can't wait to see what you've been doing for the past few weeks!

******************

Happy Birthday MizFit!!!!!!

Whew... made it!

Summer school (that I'm teaching) is o-v-e-r! Whew... I made it through alive! You could have never told me that four days a week, three hours a day, for one month, would be such a task! I am mentally DRAINED. I think the added stress of my own summer classes made it a lot worse. These are the two HARDEST classes I've ever taken... and both at the same time! I'm dying over here!

BUT... I see the light! At least now, I have a month off (minus a few teacher in-service days) before school starts back. I finally get to start working on my new classroom! Yay!

So, usually when bloggers disappear... like I have... it is because they are not doing so well on the weight-loss front.

Guess what?

I am doing better than I have in a while! I am binge-free. I am back in gym for over an hour every day and am "feeling" progress. Honestly, my muscles are so damned sore I am convinced my body hates me! But I am not quitting!

My no-sugar June was an epic FAIL. Sorry... I tried. And I have cut WAY back. And I am still shooting for this goal in July.

I feel like I am slowly getting back to putting ME at the top of my priority list. For a while, I was so overwhelmed that I could feel myself sinking into depression again. There was just SO MUCH that I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Besides work, school, and parenting, so much emotional shit keeps coming up and I just can't deal. My ex is back in jail, and that is just devastating to my kids. They were just getting used to having him again.

But something, somehow, just "clicked" and I decided that I just needed to snap the hell out of it! I was not going to just lay down and let failure win! So that's when I hit the gym (and we all know what exercise can do for your mood).

I am done with the scale for a while. I just don't need the mind games right now. I am eating healthy food, I have cut down sugar drastically, and I am doing at least an hour of cardio/strength training 6 days a week. If I keep it up, I will lose weight and get healthy. I don't care what the damned scale says right now!

Ok.... Right now, I have almost 700 blogs waiting in my Google reader... but I am determined to catch up!

It's good to be back!

Toy Story 3...

One of the BEST movies I've ever seen! I cried like an infant at the end! This is a must see!

Just got back from a night away with my two youngest kids. Big sister has been at camp for a week, so I decided we would have a night away near the campsite. It was awesome. Movie, then dinner, then swimming and relaxing.

My life has been so hectic, but I have been trying to stay focused.

I feel renewed and ready to move on with the summer. Summer school that I am teaching is over on Wednesday, and not a day too soon! With my own summer school classes being so demanding, I need the extra time to focus on ME again.

I am SO behind on blog reading. Google Reader says I have 500+ unread. I am determined to catch up, though! But just know I am here, and I'm not quitting!

YumJared Sugar Sweet Free Day

Yum Yucky and TheAntiJared would love for you to go sugar free for one day and make a pledge of any amount (through Paypal) to benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

"We are challenging you to take control of the Sugar Beast and go sugarless AND artificial sweetener-free for one day. All pledged proceeds will be donated to the Juvenile Diabetes Association in support of a cure for Type 1 Diabetes."  

Read Yum Yucky's original post HERE. There is also a give-a-way!

I'll definitely be joining in! Will you?

Inspiration...

Sorry for my absense, but life is INSANE right now as usual. I am totally overwhelmed with grad school and LIFE. But more on that later...

Eating... well, it has been better. I am still holding strong with the no sugar plan for June, but there HAVE been slip-ups.

While I am getting my act together for a post, let me introduce you to my new friend, Caroline...

Caroline Jhingory is a superstar, and since I showed the video the other day on WHAT NOT TO DO, I wanted to give you a little inspiration. I asked Caroline to give us her story, and here it is!

***********************

I was 5’2 and 273lbs in the 8^th grade.

Over the last eight (8) years, now at 29 years old and still around 5’2ish in height, I have lost and maintained a 123lb weight loss without gastric bypass surgery, any commercial diet programs or fad diets. 

I attribute my weight loss success to strengthening my faith, determination, patience…and a treadmill. 

Exercise has been the central tool in my transformation, but it’s still only one part of the puzzle towards health.  I significantly changed how I eat; altering my relationship to food and eating.  Again, I adhere to no specific diet.  I practice mindful eating, remaining disciplined and limiting my intake of carbohydrates, sugar, dairy products and caffeine.

What was your turning point and/or "Ah-ha!" moment?

There was no major incident that caused me to have an “aha moment” really.  One day I was home visiting from college.  And I just said to myself “I had enough!”   Enough of wearing body girdles to fit into certain outfits, enough of being the girl that guys never acknowledged.  Overall being obese had caused me to miss out on enjoying simple things in life:  I had not worn a bathing suit since I was 9 years old, was never able to ride a roller coaster because the safety bar did not fit over my stomach, and did not have my first boyfriend until graduate school.

How has losing weight/being healthy & fit changed your life?
Outside of all the superficial stuff of being able to wear cute clothes and a guy or two noticing me, my weight loss has made me more driven all around.  Losing 123lbs has made me feel as if no obstacle to big whether its school, work-related or family-related.  Life has taught me that God is never gonna give me more than I am capable of handling.

How often do you exercise?

My key to success was learning to replace an unhealthy addiction: mindless eating while sitting in front of the television, with a healthy addiction: hitting the gym everyday.  “I eat everyday, so I workout everyday,” is my number one fitness tip when giving advice to others.

What is your favorite workout?

For 60 minutes, I love to do a combined high speed and high incline walk on the treadmill while listening to music and/or watching a mindless reality show.  It really makes me feel like I’m challenging myself and using every muscle in my body to pull myself up on the incline.  And it has also given me a great booty!

What 5 food items are "must haves" in your kitchen?

• Costco’s Kirkland Organic Salt-Free Seasoning – Sure it is healthy, but I have just never been a fan of salty food.
• Economy size bag of frozen chicken breasts.  – I think of chicken breasts as my “chameleon food.”  I can make them adapt too almost any dish and they are a convenient source of lean protein.
• Frozen veggies such as cauliflower, spinach and bell peppers – Being that I am a single lady and feeding only me, fresh veggies tend to spoil very quickly.  Frozen veggies of course last longer, are usually already chopped and cheaper!
• Leak-proof Tupperware – I am a creation of convenience.  On Sunday, I typically cook my lunches and dinners for the week and put them in Tupperware.  That way I always have healthy food ready that I can just pop in the microwave.
• Water, water, water and more water – I live in Washington, DC and there has been way too much controversy on drinking the tap water here.  Water keeps me well hydrated for my workouts and lubricates my joints for tough workouts as well.

What is your favorite motivational/inspirational quote?

“Those who can most be accounted brave are those who know best know the meaning of what is sweet in life and what is terrible, and then go out undeterred to meet what is to come.”   ~Pericles  (a gift from Tulane Professor Cinda Lanza, when I was having a really bad day)

How do you find balance in your life?
My faith, exercise and travel have become my therapy.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

It would be expected that losing 123lbs is my greatest accomplishment.  However, my greatest accomplishment is coming to peace with the car accident death of my two teenage cousins and absence of my father after my parents’ divorce.  For many years, I was angry at the world and God about these two things.  I dealt with my anger by vacuuming in Hot Pockets and Hostess cupcakes.  Perhaps my real “aha moment” was reaching a place of forgiveness.

What do you love most about your body?

I love and admire my body’s stamina when I am at the gym.  My body’s endurance when working out surprises me everyday.  And of course I love my booty!

Best compliment?

A cardiologist looking at a sonogram of my heart, told me that I have the heart and heart rate of a marathon runner!

What are the last 5 songs played on your iPod?

• Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child
• Keep Hope Alive – Crystal Method
• Again – Faith Evans
• All Nite (Don’t Stop) – Janet Jackson
• On to the Next One – Jay Z

What weight loss/fitness tools do you use that you rely on in your weight loss/fit life journey?

Good, comfortable and affordable workout clothes from discount designer stores like Marshall’s and Ross.  You really can find the durable sweat resistant workout clothes there for half the price.  For me, having cute fitness clothes, motivates me to workout.

My IPOD and Black Berry!  A few weeks ago I learned how to stream music through my Black Berry so it’s a stand in for my IPOD from time to time.

I am a member of many online wellness and fitness communities.  Discussing health and wellness with individuals from all over the world has provided me with continued motivation and tips on adhering to healthy lifestyle.

Find Caroline on Facebook!

Must see...

This is deep... Please watch.

How do YOU identify with this woman?