Monday, January 26, 2009

306.6

My children and I were able to spend the night at our house last night, so this morning I decided to step on the scale. I couldn't believe the number (306.6)! This means I am officially back down to my lowest weight before I fell off the wagon before the holidays. It is also a bonus for me for not eating through my problems this weekend. Being away from home and stressed out, I tried so hard not to eat like crazy or binge. It payed off!

I found a rental house on Saturday that I loved. I applied for it, but there has been a lot of interest according to the couple who are renting it. The rent is low for the neighborhood and the excellent condition and size of the house. They told me they are very picky about who they choose for tenants. I have been praying they will pick me - the house is just so perfect for me and my kids!

My husband was released from the crisis center on Saturday, and so far he has been chilled out. The children and I stayed away from home until last night, though, because I wanted time apart. But since he was apologetic and non-threatening, I made the decision to come home last night so my children could have a normal evening and sleep in their own beds for school today. Clyde promised that he would leave me alone and sleep on the couch.

So after we got home last night, I ran over to my Mom's house to pick up our laundry that she did for us. While I was there, he called from home and said that he thought he was having an allergic reaction to his medicine, and that his tongue was swelling. I told him not to try to drive himself (for fear he would wreck and kill himself and someone else), and that I would drive him. I got back to the house and he was standing outside waiting. By the time we got to the ER, he couldn't breath. There was a nurse outside that saw him and grabbed him by the arm and rushed him inside. Apparently, he was going into Anaphylactic shock. After they got him stabilized enough so he could talk, he admitted to taking more than the dosage of his medicine than he was supposed to. According to him, he got stressed (=mad) when I "took too long getting home", so he took another dosage of his medication to calm down.

After we got back home that night, I went in my room and noticed an empty Lortab bottle on my dresser. I know for a fact there were 2 pills in the bottle when I left on Friday, because I debated whether or not I was going to take them with me (sometimes I need them for back pain). I confronted him, and he admitted he had taken them for a sore throat, but he forgot about it when we were at the hospital. WTF! Yeah, right.

I was so damned mad at him for ruining my evening. But his irresponsibility and selfishness reminded me of why I am so right for getting out of this marriage. I know that right now he thinks he can be a good boy and I will end up forgiving him. Hell no! He even had the nerve to complain about me not letting him sleep in my bed. I'm just biding my time until I can find a place for me and my children to live. And to get my income tax refund so I can have the money to move. Hopefully both of those things will happen this week.

But until then, my small loss has motivated me to try the best I can to make good food choices until I can get back on a routine.

Thank you all again for all the well-wishes and prayers you are sending my way. I feel them and they give me encouragement to keep on going!

5 comments:

Sharon said...

Congrats on your loss, but I really worry about you being back in the house with him. Please take care of yourself and keep your children safe. You'll be in my thoughts.

Rosie said...

Congratulations on your loss. Like Sharon I too am worried about you and the kids being back in the house. Please be careful... and keep updating here at least every few days so we'll know you're okay.

Irene said...

Sounds like you are doing the right thing for yourself and your children. Find a place as soon as possible and definitely get out.

It's good that you didn't eat through your issues this weekend. That shows you are growing.

bbubblyb said...

I feel worried for you and the kids too. Please be careful.

Glad you didn't eat your way through this, way to go on the weight loss.

I hope you can get the house.

Karyn said...

WTG on not giving into emotional eating! That is a great victory. I'm so glad you were rewarded on the scale, too!

Sounds like your hubby needs more than crisis help...as in long term, regular counceling.