Saturday, May 9, 2009

Day 27 - On Target

Some of you might remember that for a few months during Xmas I worked part-time at Target. I was doing Weight Watchers then, and really stalled on my weight loss. For one, it was the holiday season and I think we all struggle then. And number two... there was a Starbucks and Pizza Hut in the store. Yeah... I indulged a lot! Even since I have stopped working there, it seems as if there is a routine that happens when I shop there. I get the biggest Frappucino they sell, and my kids hit the food avenue for popcorn and hot-dogs. Sometimes we get a personal pan pizza or a soft pretzel - but we always get SOMETHING.

So yesterday after school/work when I picked up my son from my Mom's, she handed me some cash and told me to go buy the something for myself and the kiddos. It's been a long time since we've been able to any type of "shopping", so we were all excited and headed straight to the mall! I found a shirt to wear to the concert at Ross, and was able to find some great deals at Old Navy for my oldest. Then we headed to Target for sandals and a video game for the boy. When I approached the store, I smelled the Starbucks. Uh oh... here we go again...

Am I strong enough to walk past it? The kids are going to want to stop for something to eat... It's 7 p.m. and they haven't had dinner so it makes sense to buy them something from here since it's cheap. But I was a little uneasy. I said out loud - "I can't have Starbucks anymore." My oldest daughter said, "Yeah, Mama, you CAN if you want it." Then I said, "No. It's sugar and caffeine, and I just don't eat that way anymore."

We shopped around Target for a while, and after we checked-out, I stopped by Food Avenue and got the kiddos something to eat in the car on the way home. I grabbed a bottled water. That's it. I didn't even WANT it. And you know, I didn't know if I wanted it in the first place. I think it is just a HABIT to stop there and get it. Kind of like how I used to always get those donuts from Wal-mart. Didn't feel any cravings or urges. Didn't even miss it. I came straight home, at a small dinner, and that was that!

I feel like I was really in control yesterday, and am starting to feel really good about my progress. I am noticing subtle changes in my body. I can tell that my arms and my inner thighs are a little smaller. People are really starting to tell me they can tell I'm losing - even people who don't know I'm trying. They also say my skin is glowing - I attribute that to the supplements and healthy oils I am adding to my diet each day. I peeked at the scale this morning and liked the number I saw. The lowest number yet! I am a few pounds from being where I was after I had my 3-yr old.

The day I had her, I weighed 281 lbs, which amounted to a 50 lb. gain while I was pregnant. A week after I had her, I went back to the doctor for a check up, and also because I was swollen all over. I still weighed 281! So that was the first big discouragement and it went downhill from there. Most people LOSE weight after they have a 7 lb. baby, but not me. I just kept gaining. I actually caught myself for a few months in 2006 when I realized I was back over the 300 lb. mark (304), and got back down to the 280's. But it wasn't long until Clyde and I started having problems and the weight started piling back on. Before I knew it, I had gained back every single pound I had lost between 2003-2005 and was lingering around 326 for quite a while. My all-time high weight was back on August 25, 2008 when I started WW at work, and weighed in at 333. And that was the beginning of this journey...

I don't know what just made me go back in time like that? I guess it's good to see how far I've come. For once, I am more concerned about the what is going in my body that the number on that damned scale. I REALLY don't want sugar and caffeine to be a part of my life. I LIKE eating fresh fruits and veggies every day! I LIKE being able to park in the last spot farthest away from the store. I LOVE wearing smaller clothes, lol. Yeah, the number on the scale is a good measure of my success, but it does not DEFINE my success anymore. Walking away from Starbucks... that is success in my book!

3 comments:

Jules said...

WHOHOO!! The whole post ifs full of WHOHOOO's! Taking a look back just reminds you WHY you are on the path you are on today. "Diets" fail all the time because we're not in the right mode. And look, you're succeeding because 1. it's working for you AND you like it! 2. You've realized you weren't where you needed to be then and you are now. I'm so excited for you! Passing starbucks and quick food is a HUGE success! Congratulations!

Chubby Chick said...

You've come a long way, baby! hehe Seriously... you are doing wonderfully! Congrats on resisting Starbucks and pizza and everything. That is a MAJOR accomplishment! You should be SO proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished so far! :)

Fat[free]Me said...

You have achieved a lot - well done and walking past a lovely smelling Starbucks - kudos to you, a stronger woman than I!