Monday, July 20, 2009

Overwhelmed

Just wanted to check in to let everyone know I am alive! I am so overwhelmed with my life that I have done exactly what I said I was not going to do... I have pushed my weight loss on the back burner and stopped focusing on me. I have not gained - yet. I have been watching the scale and am still maintaining. I have been doing about an hour of cardio plus strength training about 5/7 days for the past few weeks, so this is probably helping me. This is my last week of summer break - I go back to work on Friday. I am madly trying to finish up my summer school assignments before then, and it's taking everything I have in me just to keep up.

I announced to my children last night that we are going to start getting back on a schedule starting TODAY. I actually got up at 6 a.m. this morning (even though I really wanted to sleep in). Hopefully getting up so early will allow me to be tired enough tonight to go to bed on time. I am back on the no sugar / no caffeine wagon. I have been slipping a little in that area, but have not totally decided to disregard it. I have only had caffeine 3 times, and have still not allowed myself any candy. I have also not started with eating fast food or processed stuff. My food is still 95% clean, but I'm not keeping an eating schedule and not measuring like I should. Getting back into the groove shouldn't be that hard. But it is necessary if I am going to keep moving forward.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Some new pictures...

I went out with my BFF last week, and she tagged me in some photos on Facebook. Usually whenever I see that I've been tagged in a "random" picture I panic because I know I am not going to like the picture. But honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. My weight loss has plateaued in the past few weeks, but I am working out at the gym almost daily now. I can really tell a difference in my clothes. I actually bought a pair of size 20 pants this weekend at LB!

My head is cut off in this picture, but I didn't mind since I like the way my body looks! I actually look like I have curves! And look, no muffin-top! Since giving up the sugar, my stomach looks so much flatter in clothes. Cute shoes are an added bonus. I'm still working on my arms....

This picture caught my attention because it shows how much thinner my face looks. I actually have wrinkles around my mouth when I laugh, and on my forehead when I frown! I don't know if that's really a good thing... but before I guess my face was so fat the wrinkles just smoothed out. AND... not double chin! I used to have a double chin on ALL pictures unless I tried on purpose to pose so it wouldn't show. This picture was taken a week or so ago. See the picture below...


This picture was taken in Feb/March after I had already lost 30+ lbs. My friend in the picture pointed out the other day that we have BOTH lost so much weight since that picture was taken (she's on both of the other pics with me). But yeah, I can see a big difference just over the past 3 - 4 months. It's a big motivator to keep on going!

Right now, I really don't care what the scale has to say. I know I am eating healthy and making good choices 85% of the time. I go back to work in about 2 weeks, and really think getting back on a weekday schedule is going to help me a lot. I lost the most weight when I woke up at a set time every morning, and packed my lunch and snacks for work. I was eating on a schedule, which was easy since I was on a schedule. This summer had been so crazy any attempts at ANY schedule has been a failure. I am really looking forward to getting back to some sort of NORMALCY.

Getting back on a schedule, along with going to the gym almost daily will definitely kick things into gear. I am starting to love the gym again. I am NEEDING to go everyday instead of having to MAKE myself go. It's funny that I suddenly seem to find the time to get my workout in, lol. It helps that my kids also love going to the gym, because they love the kids play area. I also find that its helping me sleep better, which will also help when it's time to go back to work in a few weeks. Stress is still high in my crazy life, but my health and weight loss are still at the top of my list of things I must do for myself.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Day ??? - I'm a bad blogger!

OMG - I can't believe I haven't updated my blog in over a week! Where has the time gone? This summer is cruising by at warp speed. So far it's been filled with homework (for me), pool days, summer school, lawn maintenance, and keeping up with my children. But it's all good! My last day to teach Summer school was a week ago, and since then I had pretty much been concentrating on school. I started 2 additional on-campus classes yesterday, for a total of 4 classes. I anticipate spending A LOT of time on coursework over the next month until I go back to work on July 24.

I have also been dealing with a lot of DRAMA. This divorce seems like it's really taking an emotional toll on me this past week. My ex pulls a new rabbit out of his bag of tricks daily. His dishonesty on just about everything is draining. But I was so blessed to be able to have a little "getaway" this weekend on Sunday and Monday. No children + no ex + no contact with the outside world + peace + quiet + pampering + love = a great remedy to stress overload. I was about an hour away from home, so during my drive back I had a chance to reflect on how refreshed I felt! And the past few days have been much more bearable.

On the diet/exercise part of my life, I am still doing well - but not as good as I was. I fell off the sugar wagon a few weeks ago with the tiny slice of wedding cake. After that I have been slowly "allowing" myself tiny bites of this and that. I still have NOT allowed myself to eat any chocolate or candy, because I know that would be a disaster. But I know that my weight loss has slowed down because of these little BLT's are happening almost daily now. Yeah, I can still say that the amount of sugar I am consuming is FAR less than I used to consume, but that would be bullshitting me and all you readers. The sugar has to stop - and today is the day. So far, no sugar and I plan to keep it that way.

I have also been doing well with exercising. When I started my walking challenge this month, soon after I joined my local gym so I could walk on the treadmill since it was getting really hot outside. Well, I think I've only walked on the treadmill twice, lol. But I do about 45 min. to an hour on the elliptical on the days I go. According to IntroPlay.com (the site where I log my exercise), I can see that as of last month, I have exercised 13 days for a total of 12.4 hours. And remember, there was 2 weeks where I couldn't exercise because of my tattoo. Since just 6/18 I have exercised 8 times for 40 to 90 minutes each time. Going to the gym is **almost** becoming a habit for me again. The time I spend there really gives me time to relieve stress and get those good chemicals moving in my brain again.

I haven't weighed in a couple of weeks - on purpose. When I first started exercising, I saw a .4 lb. fluctuation one morning and freaked out. Now, don't we all know there is a possibility that increased exercise can cause a temporary gain? But why do I always freak out about it? Since I started eating clean in April, I have tried not to let the scale dictate how I feel about myself. But since April, I have been steadily losing, too. As soon as I got that discouraged feeling, I decided it was time to lay off the scale for a while. So I am gauging my progress in my clothes. My size 22's are already getting a little loose, and I an actually where some clothes from "regular" stores if they have a xxl. And a lot of people tell me they can see a difference. I still feel great (for the most part), so I am still on the right track.

I decided on yesterday (July 1), that I was going to really concentrate on healthy habits this month so I can lose at least 10 more lbs. before school starts on 8/3. I think that's totally doable for me. As long as I continue to eat clean, avoid caffeine and sugar, and exercise it should be a done deal. I know the eating clean and caffeine part is not as challenging as the sugar part. But I now know that I CAN do it. I also commit to exercising at the gym at least 5 times per week. I want to keep the momentum going that I have now so I will one day report I am "addicted to the gym" again!