Sunday, August 22, 2010

Relaxing

This is the first weekend in a long time that I actually feel relaxed...

I claimed this "relaxation". I told myself and everyone around me that I needed this weekend to focus on ME. I knew ahead of time that getting back on track with eating was going to take my full attention... And yesterday was great!

I stayed on track with eating. Yes... I was tempted several times. But I made good choices, and did well with the sugar cravings.

Abt 5 bites of diced fruit w/coffee (at Orientation)
1 pc reduced fat string cheese
Egg/egg white omelet w/ reduced fat cheese
1 slice of whole wheat toast (low carb, 1 g. sugar)
sushi roll w/ brown rice, smoked salmon and veggies
1 slim fast (low carb, high protein)
LOTS of water

Yesterday, I only ate when I was hungry. I know that some recommend a lot of smaller meals throughout the day, but there are valid arguments from some for just eating when hungry. Because of my disordered eating, I really think my hunger cues are so messed up that I should try this method for right now.

Last night before bed, I was HUNGRY. It was such a weird feeling! To experience true hunger is a foreign concept to me. So I drank some water, drank a Slim Fast, and felt satisfied.

Yesterday was not a PERFECT day of eating, but I am please. I am off to a good start today, and plan on keeping this momentum going. I already feel SO much better.

I am going to work on lesson plans today so that I can feel organized and ready for the week ahead. I really LOVE being a teacher. Tomorrow begins my fourth week... It's an adventure every day and I feel like I'm getting into a good groove.

I spent a couple of hours yesterday going through 1000+ blogs on Google Reader. I couldn't comment on everything I wanted to, but I feel a little caught up on so many friends. Thanks for the inspiration! If you are a new reader, and your blog isn't in my blogroll, leave a link in the comments. I'd love to ready about you, too!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Again

Sometimes I wonder why I just don't get it...

I have found myself here more times that I want to admit.

Starting over.

Yep.

Again.

I know I am out of control. Again.

I made up my mind that THIS IS THE DAY. No excuses.

I am starting with a sugar detox... I just know that sugar is the root of all my problems. I MUST get past this addiction if I am to succeed. Today, I found myself grabbing a pastry off the breakfast table at my MAE orientation... I took a bite before I even realized what I was doing.... then immediately ran over to the trashcan and spit it out. No excuses. I have to detox so I can regain some sort of control.

My "life" just won't let up.

New career as a teacher is very hectic. So is being a single mom and juggling three kids. But to top it off, my mom is at the point where I fear she is unable to take care of herself and my nephew. The crap has basically hit the fan in that situation... and on top of the new school year starting and getting in the swing of things there, while also being a student myself and trying to complete grad school... and well, everything else... I am so overwhelmed.

And I have started eating my way through the stress. Again.

So, here I am... again... asking for help and support. Blog writing/reading helps me stay focused so you'll see me around more often.

Here we go again!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I am a teacher!

Today is day 4 of my new career as a Special Ed teacher.

Honestly... I think I'm gonna rock it! Even though in these four days I've been spit on, pooped on, bit, pinched, and put in a head-lock, I love it! I am wore out and happy at the same time. This is always what I've wanted to do.

And about my weight loss... Um...

I know I've gained.

I had a house fire a few weeks ago, and that very night I knew I was eating my stress. Everything is ok. My landlord STILL has not made repairs to my garage (the area burned), but at least the inside of the house is fine. The only thing that sucks is that my outlets are all melted down there, and I don't have use of my washer/dryer. I don't even know if they work, since I haven't been able to plug them in since the fire. The outsides are all melted, but I think they still work!

I have a new friend that is motivating me to lose weight. I've asked her to start helping me, since I am not back on a set schedule each day. And also since I am so busy during the day now I forget to eat, and sometimes don't even have time. I am going to take full advantage and get back on some sort of plan to start losing weight instead of gaining it!

I can't wait until I have a chance to catch up on everyone! I miss my blog friends and the motivation/encouragement I get from you. Keep up the great work!