Cize with me!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Five days...

For two weeks in a row, I have been to the gym for five days! That's a record in my world. Usually by the end of the 2nd week, I am sore and give myself permission to start slacking. I'll only go for four days, then three. Then it's all downhill from there.

I feel like I had and "uh, oh" type weekend. I ate way too much Friday and Saturday. Both days I went over my calories by at least 100. I worked out Friday, but didn't go yesterday... I simply ran out of time. When I went to bed last night, I was determined that my slip was not going to be a slide. I vowed to get in gear today, and that's just what I did.

I ate a good breakfast this morning before church, so I could avoid temptation until I got home. I had taco soup for lunch, then waited a couple of hours for it to digest a little before I hit the gym. I did 45 minutes on the bike, and 30 minutes on the elliptical. And I pushed myself... upped the ramp a little on the elliptical and bumped up the resistance on the bike. Dinner was a salad.

So now, before bed, I feel good about my day. Yeah, I ate a little too much this weekend, but I was accountable for everything. I journaled it, and stayed in control.

Speaking of being in control... it's been quite a while since I've had a binge day. I feel good about that.

Next week should be a little less hectic than last. I go to the doctor tomorrow to see about getting back on some type of depression/anxiety medication. Hopefully a little medical intervention, along with getting back into strengthening my relationship with God, will help lift me from this fog I've been in. The exercise and the spurts of sunny weather we've been getting is probably going to help, too.

We only have two more weigh-ins for the biggest loser challenge at school, and I want them to be good ones. As soon as this challenge is over, I am going to ditch the scale for 30 days because I am ready to start adding strength training into my workout. All this makes me SO excited for summer! Maybe finally, for my birthday (May 26) I can start setting some realistic goals for this summer. Won't it be great to go back to school next year finally weighing LESS than I did when I left? YES!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Big Loser

Today is weigh-in day...

My official at-home weigh in has me down 4 lbs this week! I am totally pleased with that number. I worked hard for it.

At school, for the Biggest Loser competition... the scale finally moved. And I lost 10.25 lbs. Since last week?

I don't think so. I hate the scale at school. It's just not accurate. I mean, I have lost 10 lbs, but why hasn't it been showing up week after week? Why all at one time?

Today I had "planned" on having an "off" day. But funny thing is... I couldn't do it. I have (or will) journal journaled everything, and I even went to the gym for 50 minutes this evening. I just felt like I "needed" to. Yeah, I treated myself to some things I've been wanting (like an ice cream cone from McDonald's), but I will count each calorie. I need to stay accountable. I need to work out.

Maybe I'm finally back on track...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

#TIRED

Wow... it's been a rough week! Monday had some high points, but work has been brutal! Bad thing is that I've had so much to do after school that for the past two nights we have not got home until 8:15 p.m.

Yesterday I had a work-related meeting after school, and then I had to take my two 8th graders to Freshman orientation for high school. It seems unreal that they are going to high school next year! I had to go straight from work to my meeting, then straight from my meeting to the high school so no gym yesterday. That actually made me a little sad. I was over a little bit in calories (eating on the run will do that sometime) and I knew that a good workout would have helped out a little.

Today is church night, but I worked out for an hour anyway. I went directly from work, and then we left the gym and went directly to church. Right now I am WORE OUT. My leg is even swollen a little, and it hasn't done that in a while.

Tomorrow won't be much better. My son has an event at school, so it will be work --> gym --> son's school. Thankfully, I think I have NO plans for Friday, lol!

Two Three things:

1. I have to figure out a plan for not going overboard at Wednesday night church dinner. I look at the menu ahead of time, and always "plan" on eating from the salad bar, but I always end up having the entree and the dessert and feeling bad about it. Not going is not an option... my kids really look forward to it each week, and it's the only place where a family of 5 can eat for $10!

2. I looked forward to going to the gym today. I worked out for an hour and felt awesome afterwards. I feel like I am pushing myself, and I am feeling so much better. My mood has improved, too.

3. My scale at home is moving, and I really pray the damned scaled at school moves on Friday morning. Instead of the Biggest Loser at work, I am starting to feel like a big loser. I almost feel like the others look at me like I am not doing my best. Just like on the show, people assume that the biggest people should lose the most. The fact that the scale at school has shown me losing ZERO kinda sucks.

Ok... I am going to bed so that I have enough energy to get through tomorrow.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Stranger things have happened...:)

Something really strange happened this weekend...

I went to they gym. Saturday AND Sunday.

Yeah, I know! I can't remember the last time I went to the gym on a weekend. But twice? Yep.

Friday was our 2nd weigh in for the Biggest Loser competition at our school. I lost zero again. But you know what? I wasn't even mad.

I mean, it had just been 4 days since our last weigh in (since we missed our weigh in the week before because of the snow day). AND that morning before weigh in I saw a 2 lb. loss on my scale at home (which I think is a more accurate weigh since I weigh at home under the same circumstances each time).

Although it sucked, I really didn't care what that scale said. I know that my body has to give eventually. I have been counting calories and journaling everything I eat. I only went over my set amount of calories once this week, and that was only by 100 calories (I felt really snacky on Friday). And this week, for the first time in several months, I went to they gym FIVE TIMES.

I am now working out for an hour each time. I do 30 minutes on the elliptical, and 30 minutes on the bike. When I first started, I could only do about 20 minutes on the elliptical and I walked the track for about 20 minutes.

And you know what else? I can FEEL changes. My clothes are definitely looser already. I am still quite depressed, but I can feel the cloud lifting a little. Some people have also told me they can tell I am losing.

Yes, I will keep going despite the scale. That thing hasn't defined me in a long time.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I should be in bed...

...but I really wanted to post first. I have PROMISED myself to blog more for accountability.

I worked out for an HOUR today. Once again, I think I would have skipped the gym had it not been for my gym buddy.

It's official that all of my kids have the flu. The boys got diagnosed on Monday, and my girls got the verdict today. I had to pick up the baby from school, and when the doctor said her flu test was positive, he told me to bring in my other daughter since she is the only one in the house that wasn't sick yet. When I told him that she had been coughing and snotty, he said I definitely needed to bring her in. An hour later, she tested positive, too.

Bad thing? Their strain of the flu is different from the one I had, so I can get it again. FML.

So... At first I was thinking this was a reason to skip the gym. I dropped all the kids off at the house, and was on my way to pick up prescriptions when I got a call from my co-worker/gym buddy to see if I was still gonna be able to make it to the gym. I looked at the clock and knew I had enough time. I threw on my gym clothes and was there in 10 minutes.

30 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes on the bike, and I worked on my arms with free weights.

I pushed a little harder today because we are weighing in tomorrow for the Biggest Loser Challenge. Our usual weigh ins are Fridays, but we had to weigh in Monday this week because last Friday was a snow day. It's only been 4 days, but I am hopeful for a little loss. I feel better and I've been eating better. More calories and better food. I am even taking my supplements again.

But I have already decided if I don't see a loss tomorrow that it won't be the end of the world. I haven't tried this hard in a long time. It might take a while for my body to get with the program, but eventually these good changes have to catch up. Right?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Plan B

Today was good. I worked out at the gym today... 17 minutes on the elliptical until my co-worker got there. Then we did 30+ minutes on the stationary bike. I am TIRED. But working out 2 days in a row feels good.

I ate well today. Not sure of the calories since I didn't journal. :(

I got off on the wrong track this morning. I was running late and wasn't prepared. I threw some tuna salad that I'd made on Sunday in my lunch bag with some crackers. I ended up eating that for breakfast and skipped lunch. I NEED to get my butt in gear and prepare at night.

SO, with that said, I went to the grocery tonight. I got frozen meals (easy to grab and go). I remembered that I have some packets of oatmeal that would be easy to grab for breakfast. I have plenty of yogurt. And I got lettuce for salads and some grapes. I always lose weight when I eat at least one salad every day. My workout buddy reminded me of that today.

Looking back on my food last week, I did realize that I am not getting enough fresh fruits and veggies. I will try to get them in this week as much as possible. I also need to increase my water a little bit. AND I will commit to pack my lunch the night before.

Part of my struggle, too, is depression. I am feeling so low right now. I put on a brave face, but inside I am crying my eyes out. I have support... but not in person. I have blog friends, and Facebook friends. I have co-workers and church friends, but no one close. I have real-life friends, too, but I feel very detached from them lately... maybe because they don't live close? Their lives don't seem to match up with mine now-a-days. I am just sad and overwhelmed. I hate this feeling.

Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully I have set myself up for a successful day tomorrow. I HAVE to succeed.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Starving

Is it possible for MY body to go into starvation mode? I didn't think so, but now I'm wondering.

I stayed 100% on plan this week. Journaled everything. The only day I went over 1200 calories was on Saturday, and that was for a planned dinner out with a friend. I only ate 1/2 of my entree, and drank water. I turned down pizza AND birthday cake earlier in the day to account for dinner. I was so proud of myself for having a successful week.

Until I weighed in today at work.

Guess how much I lost?

Nothing. Nada. Zero. "0".

I almost cried. I mean, it's Valentine's Day, and I'm single. I have four kids and I'm broke. My son has the flu. I'm depressed. And the one thing I was looking forward to (weight loss for the week) didn't happen.

UGH!

I was sure that 1000 - 1200 calories daily would get me the loss I wanted. I wasn't hungry at all and didn't feel deprived. I thought I'd made good choices! My water intake was great. I went to the gym twice and stayed active all week. What gives?

Is that amount of calories NOT ENOUGH? Is my body in shock? I don't know.

According to Sparkpeople, I need 1270 - 1620 calories per day for my height, weight, and age. Livestrong.com says I need 1690 to lose 3 lbs per week. That amount is above my usual weight loss comfort zone. What is right? What is wrong? I DON'T KNOW!

So, I guess this week I am going to try to stay between 1600 - 1700 calories and see what happens. I am going to try my best to get at least 3 days in the gym... I went today and walked for 30 minutes and did arm exercises. My coworker/workout buddy is extra encouraging (and btw she lost 8 lbs this week... :/).

I refuse to give up. Today's news was discouraging, but it won't get me down for too long...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Biggest Loser

Even though the Biggest Loser WAS on tonight... it doesn't have anything to do with my post tonight. (Except for me to say that I think Arthur is STUPID).

Nope... my blog title is referring to a challenge that we are having at work. It started about a week ago, but I just got on board Monday because of the whole strep/flu thing. Our at-work Biggest Loser challenge will go until Spring Break (March 11, I think) and there will be TWO winners. One person with the most pounds lost, and one person with the largest percentage of weight loss. So far, I think there is about 17 people signed up, and we all put in $10.

Let me just say... I'm excited! Two days in, and I have had two PERFECT days. I have journaled my food, stayed within my calories, and made good choices. Accountability at work is going to be a BIG motivator for me. I know that people are watching... and I really wanna win!

And guess what else? One of my co-workers and I are going to be workout buddies. We went to work out today, and I did a total of 50 minutes: 26 on the elliptical, 14 on the bike, and then we walked for 20 - 25 minutes.

I will admit, if I had been by myself, I would have only did the 30 minutes on the elliptical. I forgot my IPOD, which is a gym tragedy for me. So I bought some cheap headphones and plugged in to watch TV until my friend got there. We got on the bike together and then went to walk on the track. It was fun to have a buddy!

I am wiped out and ready for bed. Tomorrow we are supposed to get snow again. I will be SO HAPPY when Spring is here.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Read THESE Blogs :)

Let's support each other... I took these from my comments yesterday. I have looked at each and every one of these, and I am following! I encourage you to check them out, too...

Crys... Bigger Than My Body (Crys actually just commented, but I have been following her blog for quite a while and consider her a friend on this journey).

Flab to Fab ... This looks like a new blog?

Michelle Gets in Shape ... Michelle has Maya Angelou's "Phenomenal Woman" in her sidebar... what more can you love?

Lindy at The Reinvention of Me. She is a runner who's lost almost 30 lbs since September! Awesome!

Alexia at Dimple Snatcher... Alexia and I have been friends on Facebook for a while... I can't believe I've missed this blog!

SkinnyNurseB is also a new blog so let's show her some love!

Fitter or Fatter at 44? Stacey is also new... trying to get it IN before she turns 44.

Fabulously Skinny... I am LOVING this blog's design! #jealous

Jo's Journey - Lots of great recipes!

Watch Sarah Shrink - I've been following Sarah for a while... love this blog, too.

Escape from Obesity - If you don't know Lyn yet, SHAME ON YOU! :)

Changing From Fat to Fit  - Christie is another runner, and I've been following her journey, too.

I'd Rather Have a Cupcake - The cupcake pics on this blog now have me jonesin' for a cupcake!

My Quest for a Yummy Life - A new blog... but Andi's already rockin' it!

My Weight Loss Journey - New blogger...

The Chubee Chick Diaries - This is a new blog, but it seems quite familiar?

Shrinkella - 7.6 lbs in 5 weeks = awesome!

Big Broke Bastard - This blog definitely got my attention! I think I should advise strong language and graphics, lol.


Picture Snappin' Momma - Beautiful children!

Sista FattyCakes Losing Weight - Loving this new blogger!

It's Not a Diet, It's a Weigh of Life - This beautiful woman has been my blogger friend for a while! Love this blog!

Little Rose Jacket - BrendaKaye actually commented to recommend a book, but since I think I am going to buy this book and really appreciated her comment, I looked and found that she has a great new blog. Hope she doesn't mind if I posted a link!

This is all I have for now. I really appreciate all the comments and encouragement. I am taking a break from Facebook for a while (not SkinnyHollie, just my personal page), so I have more time for blog-reading. Keep sending me suggestions!

Friday, February 4, 2011

When it rains... let it rain BLOGS!

I have the flu.

AND strep throat.

At the same time.

I feel TERRIBLE. But hopefully the worst is over. Wednesday and yesterday were filled with fever and bodyaches. Today is just the horrible sore throat and the recovery. I tell you what... I can't seem to catch a break.

Honestly, I feel very discouraged right now. Somethings gotta give...

BUT until then, I want to update my blogroll. I figure that this weekend will involve a lot of lazy, get-well time. And during this time I plan to catch up on my blog reading.

Over the past few months, so many people have suggested blogs to me. I know I have missed some. Soooo, I am asking everyone with a new blog, or a blog that's not already on my blogroll to post a link to their blog. I want to read all about your journey, too!

So many times I find myself discouraged, and I find encouragement in someone else's journey. Thanks to all of you who write blogs and keep people like me going!