Thursday, May 19, 2011

Manic May

Sorry no blog post for a week, but as usual, life is crazy.

The end of the school year is here... only 5 more days with students and two inservice days to go! Tomorrow is field day, so I am trying to get things together for that.

On the weight loss front...

I am still trying hard. My goal right now is to do the best I can to stay low-carb, and I am literally taking it meal by meal. There are so many parties, celebrations, and potlucks it is so hard to just say no to EVERYTHING. To top it off, I am going out of town this weekend, and then my birthday is next week (and I plan on celebrating BIG this year). But so far, my weight has remained steady. I have gained about 1/2 lb, so not bad. Overall, I am still eating much less carbs than normal for me. And I feel so much more conscious about my food choices.

Yesterday, we had a potluck at school, where I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted, including dessert. Out of habit, I put about 3 different desserts on my plate... and only ended up eating one! Everything tastes so sweet now, it was just *enough*. And I didn't feel the need to keep stuffing the rest in my mouth. Being able to make that choice feels good. It feels very "real life"... I would love to be at goal weight one day and still be able to enjoy dessert every now and then.

I also received a blog award the other day from Chrissy... Thanks! I never follow blog award rules... sorry... but I am so appreciative!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Day 15 - Cheater, cheater

It's funny how within two days I go from being a WINNER to a CHEATER.

I really hate myself sometimes... well, I hate the way I sabotage my own success when it comes to weight loss. I finally got under 300 lbs and of course, I have to find a way to ruin it.

I cheated today, and I don't even have an excuse for why. I can blame my co-workers birthday, but it wouldn't really be fair. I made the decision - no one forced me. I could have blamed it on work stress, but hell, I always have work stress!

All I know is that I need to get focused. I have been doing too well to mess up now. I still have two weeks until my birthday, so I need to get it in gear if I am going to get into those jeans!

Tomorrow is back to NO CARB. I am just going to have to tough it out until I get back into my zone. If I don't get it together now, it's going to be as hard as it was the first time and that sucks.

Maybe I'm not ready for "real life" eating right now?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Day 15... #Winning

And the winners of the Now Eat This! Diet Cookbook are:

BrendaKay @ Little Rose Jacket

Sweetheartish  @ http://ohshenanigans.com/

Winners were picked using random.org. Please email me at skinnyhollie at gmail dot com with your contact information. Thanks

This has been such a busy weekend, with a lot of successes for me. I really feel like I am #winning. Warning... this is long.

Friday... I went to a friend's birthday party. Faced with party food, I did well. I ate a "sliver" of birthday cake, and almost had a panic attack. But it was ok. I felt good about my choices, and felt like at the end of my two-weeks I should be able to eat something sweet with no huge cravings. It was kind of a test... and I passed.

Saturday... Was a busy, busy day. I am pleased to announce that I am done with school. Saturday SHOULD have been my graduation, but I didn't get my fees paid in time to walk. But it still marked an important day for me. I now have my Master's of Art in Education. My best friend was graduating from another college, and her family had a big party planned. It was a taco buffet. I ate my taco meat with lettuce, tomato, and sour cream. I had a few corn tortilla chips with refried beans. And because of the cake sliver on Friday night, I skipped dessert.

I also would like to add that all day before the party I made good food choices. I left the house at 8:30 a.m. and didn't get home until 8:30 p.m. I packed food and water and made sure I was prepared.

Sunday... Let me first say that this is the absolute BEST mother's day I can remember having in recent years. My other bff, Max, also celebrated her birthday on Sunday, so after church on Sunday she took me and the kids out to eat. And I ate.

It was a conscious decision to eat what I wanted. I had only eaten a couple of scrambled eggs that morning, and I admit that hunger probably made my decision to ditch my diet a little easier. But I knew what I was doing.

I shared an entree with Max, and later enjoyed the gourmet cupcake my daughter bought me as a gift. And that was all I had to eat for the day. The carb/sugar influx put me to sleep as soon as we got home, then pretty much made me sick for the rest of the night. I had chest pains, stomach pains, and felt dizzy and tingly. It was scary to be so aware of the fact that my body was reacting to sugar in that way.

When I went to bed last night, though, I still felt successful. Even though I strayed from the rigid plan I had followed for the previous two weeks, I felt like I turned the page to "real life eating". Yes, I will continue to restrict carbs. But when holidays and special occasions arise, I will enjoy myself without freaking out about food.

Because of this weekend, I have decided to go back to Phase 1 for another week before going on to Phase 2. Today has been a success. Going back to low-carb hasn't been hard at all. It almost seems more like "normal" eating than eating sugar and carbs did yesterday. Honestly, I am glad to get that stuff out of my system!

My birthday is May 26, and I think this weekend has helped me put to rest a lot of anxiety that I've had about how I will eat on that day. I know what I did right this weekend, and I know what I would do different. I am learning, therefore I feel like a winner. I am still ON TRACK and very happy about the progress I've made.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Day 10... Awards!

I have recently received two blog awards...

The first from Kathy...


And the second one is from The Skinny Doll...


Both awards have rules to spread the love, but because I am wiped out from a super-stressful days, I am going to pass both these awards on to all the people who follow and support me on this journey. You guys have kept me going for almost three years. I appreciate the love!

The scale said 300.8 again this morning, so I guess it's still 15.4. I had very little to eat today - not on purpose, but because I was so busy and stressed. That will either mean good things or bad things on the scale tomorrow...

But the great thing about today is that with all the stress and emotions I went through today, NOT ONCE did I feel like binging. The vending machine, or the goodies left over in the teacher's lounge were NOT calling my name. I actually FORGOT to eat until lunch, and then I had a salad instead of the Olive Garden that was being served in the teacher's lounge. And since I forgot my protein, it was just a salad that consisted of veggies. I kept trying to remind myself to grab a boiled egg or a piece of cheese, but I kept getting preoccupied.

I finally at at dinner. Tonight is church night, and I stuck with the salad bar and some lean roast beef. The chocolate cake that was sitting out for dessert didn't phase me at all.

Good news... I got rehired to teach next year in the same school where I teach now. That is a blessing.

Until tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Day 9... Conquering Temptation

First... I have extended my cookbook giveaway. You now have until Friday to comment on THIS LINK.

I am on day 9 and still cheat-free. I haven't had over 20 carbs daily and haven't enjoyed a soda since April 24. And I am so proud of me!

Each day gets a little easier to say no, but today I was just bombarded by temptation. It's teacher appreciation week, so our wonderful PTO is providing food and treats all week. Today was a breakfast spread.

I sent my Ed. Assistants to scope things out before I went, just to see if there was anything I could eat. They came back and said there were a variety of meats and cheeses, so I went down there. Right there on the table where the plates were were several open boxes of Dunkin' Donuts. I LOVE donuts... any kind! They are always my weakness. But not today.

Man, there was some really delicious food on those tables. It was everywhere! But I got some pork loin and ham and cheese cubes and enjoyed those instead. I actually got so full that I ended up skipping lunch. I didn't feel hungry and got really busy. I didn't even realize I had skipped a meal until after it had happened.

Then this afternoon we had a Parent Night where we served pizza, cookies, and soda to the parents and students that attended. I also love pizza... it's definitely another weakness. But I didn't touch a thing. I even brought some leftover cookies to my kids. Yeah, they looked and smelled good. But I didn't want any.

When I turned down pizza tonight, a co-worker told me, "Just eat a piece. It won't kill you." I kindly told her that I was choosing not to eat that pizza because I have better plans for me and my waistline! It might not kill me, but it will keep me fat. I am tired of being fat.

I am still weighing daily. Yesterday I stayed the same. But today, my scale (which is normally very accurate) was all over the place! I was so uspet. So I jumped on my older scale just to see what it said, and the number was LOVELY. It said 299.8. That number won't count because I want to stick to the scale I started with, but that number looked so good to me. I can't wait to really be under 300 lbs again, and I know I am SO CLOSE. My official scale last had me at 301.6. Today it was 300.8 a few times, but then kept saying 301.6. Either way, I know I am close. I will keep going until I get there!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Day 7... What I eat...

Today I am 14.6 lbs down since Monday! I am officially 2 lbs away from my first goal weight... to be under 300 lbs again. And it feels so good to be so close!

On my Facebook page and in real life, people keep asking me what I have been eating this past week. Well here are the basics:

I am basically following Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I have cut carbs from my diet. All carbs except those found in salad greens and ranch salad dressing. SBD phase 1 allows low-fat milk and yogurt, and few other sugar-free sweet treats, but I choose not to eat those things.

I also gave up sodas last week. I still allow myself unsweet tea and coffee, but I don't drink much.

I drink between 100 - 120 oz of water daily.

Exactly what I am eating? Eggs, cheese, tuna, chicken breast, turkey bacon and salad greens... and that's basically it. In lots of combinations, lol. Yes, it's boring, but it's easy for me. I am satisfied, and I feel like I am in a "safe zone".

My cravings are under control for the first time in... ???? I don't even remember when. I figure that after one more week of eating this way, my body will be ready to start introducing those "good carbs" that they outline for Phase 2 of SBD. Honestly the only thing I am already looking forward to is the ability to eat some fruit. And maybe some oatmeal. Since I am not craving carbs right now, I have this strange contentment that is foreign to me. Since about Thursday of last week, my world doesn't revolve around food anymore.

I have been to the grocery the past two days, and I have passed by sweets and foods that I would normally covet. I have been able to walk right past them with little to no effort. Yes, I might still wish I could have it, but it doesn't make me upset anymore. I am in control.

I can't wait to see what next week brings.

Don't forget that tonight is the last chance to comment for my giveaway!