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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Day 4... Why not me?


This week has been INSANE. But the end of the school year always is, I guess. Tomorrow is the last day with students. Then I have to work Friday and 1/2 day Saturday. Yes... our school district always has the last report card day on Saturday. It's been like that for as long as I remember.

This Saturday is also my birthday... I will be 36! I am now sliding into 40...

And maybe that is why I've been so reflective today.

So far, my 90-day challenge is going well. I have YET to get to the gym, but my focus right now is just drinking the two shakes each day and drinking my water... at least 100 oz. And that has been my biggest struggle so far. I am too busy to drink water and pee all day! When I'm not at school, I am at the ballpark, and the bathroom there is DISGUSTING. UGH.

My ankle and foot are swollen again, and I really think it's because I haven't been drinking water. AND I've been drinking soda. I know better, so I must do better.

The whole reason for me to do this 90-day challenge int he first place has to do with health... I NEED to get my weight under control for my health. 36 is awfully close to 40! I need to get this weight off before it's mandated by a doctor as a result of a health scare associated with diabetes, high blood pressure or both! It's serious. Very.

But for some reason that same scared little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering doubt into my brain. It makes me wonder if I can REALLY lose weight. It makes me believe that I don't have it in me. That I'm fat and that's just the way it is.

But then I look at people around me. I read blogs and get inspired by people just like me who have lost weight and kept it off! Then I ask myself, "Why not me?"... Why can't I be a success story? Why can't I inspire people? Why can't I lose this weight and keep it off FOREVER?

I can do this. And I can show you better than I can tell you.

I know this summer is going to be transforming. I believe that so many things are falling into place in my little corner of the universe, just so I can realize this ONE DREAM that always seems to slip through my fingertips.

Why not me?

7 comments:

Kristi said...

The little voice inside my head says the same thing to me. Why should this time be any different than the other million times I've tried?

I have let that voice take over way too many times. I need to make my voice that says "You can DO this!" so much stronger. It's probably just like any other kind of exercise. If you use it more, it will get stronger. So that's what I'll try today. Just for today, I will make the positive voice stronger.

Thanks for your great blog, Hollie! I really enjoy reading it.

iamnotjustafatgirl said...

I will say in the blogs I have read and the people I have met the key I have noticed has been two major things exercise, and doing whatever plan that you can do forever so it's not so hard to keep it off forever! Only you though know what is going to work for you :) Good luck :)

Steffie said...

I found your blog when trying to get inspiration after writing my first ever blog myself. Honestly this really does help, its good to find that other people have the same struggles. Keep motivated!!

StephieJ said...

Just want to say that at least you are owning it. You are wanting to self improve. There are A LOT of people who think being over weight is fine.. that they'll give it a few months and THEN try to lose the weight.

You have been doing good and you are trying! Just remember you're lapping all the people who are still sitting on the couch!

I like this saying: "At any given moment you have the power to say this is NOT how the story is going to end" and that is exactly what you're doing.

Keep it up :)

Rachel said...

Hi! First I must say I really enjoy reading your blogs. It really makes me sad that you say you're just a fat girl. You are beautiful! At least you are out there trying to make a change. A lot of people just complain but don't do anything about it. I wish my dad would actually try. He's diabetic, type 2, and he is supposed to work out and eat right. He eats right but not all the time, but no exercise and I'm afraid for him. Anyways, you can do this!! & Good luck!! :)

Jimmy Ezzell said...

Love your blog! Thanks for being so real with everyone and sharing your journey with all of us!!

Ruth said...

Truthfully, it was my persistantly swollen ankle which led me to lose forty pounds, that was five years ago. We make the choices, we live with the choices. Only you can determine your own course. Good luck to you!