Friday, July 27, 2012

Day 69 - Peace


This is my new FB banner... my challenges have definitely changed me. For the better.

I had another "epiphany" in the shower this morning.

Then last two days have been rough. I am tired. I have no energy. I am unhappy. And all I can think about is my diet.

So far, I HATE being sugar-free.

It's not about withdrawals anymore. I am over that. I just hate the lack of variety in the food I am eating. I don't have time to cook or shop since I'm back at work, so it's basically eggs and salads. Night before last, I had a meltdown. Cried myself to sleep again.

Yesterday, I just felt resigned to my fate. Is this what a lifetime of yo-yo dieting gets you? A body that rejects healthy food and exercise?

The truth is, when it comes to diets and weight loss, EVERYONE has an opinion. The other night (when I had the meltdown), I came across so many opinions and so much advice for whatEVER kind of diet plan that's out there it was just OVERWHELMING! Is there a RIGHT WAY? REALLY?

The answer is no. Sugar-free/low-carb isn't for everyone. Neither is low fat. Neither is Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or even Body by Vi. What works for some WILL NOT work for everyone. Everyone is unique in that way. And people change over time. What works when you're in your 30's might not work in your 40's.

Back to my epiphany... In the shower this morning, I made the decision to STOP THE MADNESS. I can't stress over this any longer. Just because my numbers do not reflect all my hard work this summer, that does not make me a failure. I've gained great habits regarding food. My fitness level is growing in ways that make me feel so much stronger. I am better than I was 69 days ago. Because I am trying.

If I never lose another pound, I KNOW that I am trying. And for that reason, I will not quit. I will keep moving forward with a healthy diet and exercise plan. I will eat healthy food that I love (including my protein shakes and fruit) in moderation, and I will continue to stay low-carb. But if I mess up, I will NOT hate myself for it. In fact, I will schedule in "cheat" meals at least once per week. I will keep going to the gym, and I will know my body is changing, if only on the inside! The important thing is to stay on the journey, no matter what.

I was happy to just count calories and eat anything I wanted in moderation... but going no sugar for the past week has also helped me realize that I need to really get the majority of carbs out of my diet, too. And I will. But it may be more of a process than something that happens overnight. I need to build my list of go-to foods so that I'm not just eating eggs and lettuce.

I have asked Clyde to take my scale away (since I obviously can't control my urges, lol). He is to only let me weigh in on Fridays. If I lose... that is GREAT. If not, I will look at how well I did for the week and take it from there. Even if I know that I totally rocked it with diet and exercise, I will NOT let that number discourage me.

What is the point of being stressed out and miserable about my diet? Is that going to get me to my goal sooner than later?

I don't think so!

15 comments:

Margaret said...

Don't give up!
I'm just starting out and following you!
You are reaching people.


Big smiles for you!
Margaret
The Great Texas Take-Off

hollyrenae2011 said...

Hi :) I just wanted to share this with you...I too have began my weight loss journey about a month ago. This month isn't over, but I have lost 12 pounds already!! This is what I am doing, and it is working great...I am eating all wheat..wheat pasta, bread, everything. Also, instead of eating ground beef, I am eating honey suckle brand ground turkey. It is much leaner..but always look first because some ground turkey is super high in fat. Honey suckle has 8 grams for 4 ounces. Bascially, I am still eating all my favorite foods, except I am substituting. Also, I have not cut out all sugar..I will eat orange sherbet, although I do buy sugar free reduced fat ice cream, which aside from a little after taste, it's really yummy, lol. I guess what I am trying to tell you from past failed diet attempts, is I have customized my very own lifestyle plan just for me. This is the way I will be eating the rest of my life. I too have been through the salad and water only diets, and hey, if you can truly stick to that and be happy, do it..but I must say, you do not seem happy. I eat 3 balanced meals a day, and around 1600 cals. Of course the smaller I get, the less cals I will eat..but yeah. Anyway best wishes to you Hollie!!! My name is HOlly too :)) Just spelled differently! Love your site and God Bless!! <3

Becky said...

Love this post, Hollie!! It gives me encouragement, because I feel like you do... that NOTHING is working!! I feel like I am never going to lose the pounds and/or inches that I need to lose. It is a hopeless feeling. Thank you for these words and keep up the good work that you are doing! -- Your blog is great, by the way!! :)
~ Becky

Kelley said...

Yes, stop the madness! Start feeling good about yourself! You are NOT a failure!

And yes, I would get rid of the scale. I haven't had one in the house in years....my clothes tell me when I need to move more and eat less (of course, like you I need to eat less sugar and carbs....why do they have to taste so good??!!)
Good luck!!

whyquantumphysicists said...

Hello Holly. Your honest rings true in this post. My experience is that anger can be a more positive emotion (and therefore more helpful for weight loss) than discouragement. I know anger isn't your "goal", but I encourage you to find some gratitude for moving up the emotional scale towards more positive feelings about weight loss. How I feel, I've found, is way more important than what I'm actually "doing" to lose weight. Thanks for posting this.

Almost There said...

It's great that we have so many weight loss options. For years WW worked for me, and like you said, what works for us at one age, might just no longer work for us any more. It's hard figuring out what works for us. I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy on low carb. I'm not sure how 'low' you went, like Atkins 20 or not, but you can certainly have a bit more and still be 'low' carb. Some people lose weight around the 100 carb range, I need to stay closer to 50 of minimally processed (so yes, I do eat whole grain breads and pastas). Play around with it. Like you said - it's all different for EVERYONE and if you're feeling crappy, you're going to be miserable, and that's no way to live!

If you're on My Fitness Pal, there's a huge low carb group that provides tons of suggestions for foods and snacks so you don't feel like eggs and salad is it.

Good luck :)

B.H said...

I love lo carb but it takes some getting use to and finding great foods. One of my go too which will probably work well for you and work is sugar snap pear or raw green beans and hummus! It is higher in carbs then I usually like to eat, but you get the crunch of eating chips, and the flavor is great! Pintrest has also been a HUGE help for new easy dishes for me. I do a lot of prep on the weekend and place things in the freezer to eat off all week. I also make smoothies when I am desperate for somethings sweet. I focus the most on getting rid of breads, pastas, and sweets. Breast and pastas sit in your body for a long time and they are hard to processes. GL yOu can do it girl!!!

mark powlett said...

Really great to read such an honest account of your weight loss. You are doing so well and thanks for your writing :) Mark Powlett

Miss E said...

amen sister... effort is what will get you there

Lely Ortiz said...

honey,
you have no idea how much i have struggled with weight. But your right diets DONT WORK. what you need is a change of lifestyle. when you change your lifestyle(referring to your eating habits) then you will be successful. i have learned that losing weight is so easy if you are determined to reach a goal. the problem with the food that your eating (yes even the shakes and smoothies)is that its all processed. our bodies were not meant to handle the type of foods eating today. MOST, if not all, the foods in America are made by corn. i mean even diapers are made with corn. cows are NOT meant to eat corn yet they are fed. anyways, i would like to suggest that if you really are serious about losing weight, its a life changing experiment, as i like to call it. fruits, grain, nuts, vegetables are all things that they body is meant to eat. why do you think that the food pyramid was changed. this is where we get energy and all of our proteins to have a healthier and more functional body. and no i am not a vegitarian, but i limit my meat product intake until i can completely let go. but eating healthy is a lifestyle and this is where i think you are failing, please do not feel offended or discouraged by this comment. anyways, all the best luck in your journey, God Bless !

psychochef said...

"The important thing is to stay on the journey, no matter what". Thanks! I really needed to hear that.

stratcat45 said...

Don't give up...everyone goes through those moments. I reached Lifetime status at Weight Watchers but have never been able to maintain it. I juggle on and off the same 10 lbs.

Just Me said...

I just found your blog and there have been many times in my life where I have feen right where you are right now. Its usually around the time I fall off any type of plan. If this is important to you push through it. Your body is craving the sugar, but at the same time your body is waking up to the all the healthy things you are now putting inside of it. A book, not really a diet, that is helping me is Kris Carr's "Crazy Sexy Diet". It really put things into perpective for me and helped me understand my food choices. She talks vegan for healing and health, but at the same time promoties working with your own body and making small choices as you begin to feel better.

Salads day in and day out are not a healthy diet choice. Good nutrition is important, Lots of water, and mild exercise. You might consider juicing to get "wake up your body" and give it the oxygen it needs to get rid of all the toxins in your body. It will change your mood, your enery, and your health. Good Luck!

Taryn, www.worthherweigh.com

Jessica Rigdon said...

Hollie, I totally identify with you. I feel this way tonight. I refuse to give up, even when I fail (which I have done many many times). I had a bad weekend with bad eating but I am still going to pick myself up and keep going! Thank you for your inspiration. Also, if you are looking for good workout that you can do at home, I highly recommend the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. It is literally kicking my bootie. I am halfway through on day 15 on level 1. I love it. And I love the fact that I can do it in my own home. Anyways, I adore your blog and good luck! Oh, this is my weight loss blog:
http://jessicahastolose.blogspot.com/

GoutMaster said...

Your FB Banner is so awesome. This journey of 'Not So Easily Seen' is an everyday battle. I am also on my own journey. I want to stop being so easily seen to not so easily seen, (Skin people are not easily seen). You can also read about my journey on my blog.