Cize with me!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 40 - Not always JUST A NUMBER...


This is what I wake up to each and every morning... right beside my bed. Even when I'm not on plan and eating terribly, I still wake up to these scales. They have this crazy power over me...

Usually when I'm "on plan" and eating well, the scales are nice to me. They delight me every morning with a lower number. I step on all three... ALL THREE. Just to make sure the numbers are accurate.

But when I'm not doing so well, I avoid them. I walk right on past them. But I can feel their glare. Telling me that I know I'm in the wrong. That I need to get back on track.

Since the beginning of the year, my scales have pretty much been my enemy. Years of abusing my body with yo-yo dieting and extreme ups and downs have really hurt my effort to lose. My body just won't cooperate anymore. It's been tricked too many times. And the numbers on the scale just won't cooperate.

Yesterday I was really upset. Discouraged. Let down.

For 39 days I had been so good for 80% of the time. For the past 3 weeks or so, I have been on my game. I am averaging 75 minutes/day of cardio, 5 out of 7 days. I am pushing myself. I am eating right. Even started counting calories to make sure!

But I am NOT. Losing. WEIGHT.

Am I losing fat? Probably. Have I lost inches? Yep. Do I feel great? Absolutely!

But those damn numbers haunt me. The dictate my day. They make me feel worthless. They make me want to throw my hands up and quit.

But I'm not a quitter. Far from it.


The scales just have to go. I boxed them up, and my daughter took them out to the shed outside.

I will weigh myself again on August 17... the last day of my 90-day challenge.

Until then, I will figure out the best way to move forward.

But as long as I am TRYING, I can't see where I can go wrong. I will figure out the right combination of cardio, strength training, and calories. But until I do, I won't let a number on a scale knock me off track MENTALLY. 

As long as I am drinking my shakes, staying within a set amount of calories, and exercising at least 30 minutes 4 to 5 times per week, how can I go WRONG? I might not lose the weight in record time, but I will eventually lose it. But I will definitely be gaining HEALTH along the way there. 

That's what's important.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Day 37 - Eating what I burn?


I have been busting my butt in the gym. Big time. I am sore. But in a good way!

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been putting in over an hour of cardio at least 5 out of 7 days. And it's not at a leisurely pace, either. I am pushing myself.

As I posted a few days ago, I can see a little bit of a difference in my before/after pictures. I have lost a few inches, but not enough to make my clothes a lot looser. I feel better... I really do.

But I want that damned scale to move.

Last week I started counting calories, and I lost about 4 lbs. Which is good.

But could it be better?

Right now, using the My Fitness Pal app, I am allowed 1900 calories per/day. According to their calculations, I am also burning about 1200 - 1300 calories per workout. I know this is not 100% accurate, but several months ago I wore my HRM so I could compare the two, and it wasn't far off. I figure my actual number is more around 1000. I currently don't eat any of my calories that I burn during my workout... I stick to the 1900. And during the past 7 days of counting I only went over once. The other days I actually had to eat an extra meal or snack to get to the 1900.

Should I be eating some of the calories I burn? Will that kick up my weight loss?

Or should I be content with the changes I am making TOWARD my diet and exercise and be happy with that? Will the scale eventually catch up?

Like I said before... I just don't want to make the WRONG move. I don't want to be working this hard and feel like I'm not making progress. I know that I'm only about a month into it this time, but I really want the next 30 days to be a reflection of how hard I plan on working.

And advice is appreciated!
I don't want to get frustrated and discouraged right out of the gate.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Day 34 - Investing


I got a new hair-do today. BLONDE highlights. I can hardly believe I did it... never went this light before in my life! But I feel like stepping out of my box more and more lately. I'm feeling pretty good.

Today I was having a talk with my ex-husband about the amount of money that I'd been spending on ME lately. Nothing's changed much with my finances to make me be able to AFFORD to spend more money, unless you count that I am getting child support now. But that had nothing to do with the decision.

I basically just decided that I'm worth it.

I'm worth the $100+/month that I am spending on my Vi-shakes. I am worth new gym clothes because they make going to the gym a little more special since I feel like I look great while I am working hard. I am worth a new hairstyle because it bumps up my self-esteem a little. I am worth the new gym shoes I PLAN on buying because my feet DO NOT HURT when I wear good shoes when I exercise. AND I also plan to buy new compression socks because they also make my feet feel good when I exercise.

I will pinch pennies somewhere else. I am saving a ton on groceries with couponing... so maybe that's a good place to start. I am also making less trips to Nashville, which equals more gas savings, too. 

It will all balance out. If I want it to. The point is, I can't continue to pour my investments (time AND money) into other people when I am not making an effort to invest in myself at all. I need it. I deserve it.

(I can hardly believe I just typed that... and MEANT it!)

***funny story***
Since I had my hair appointment during my gym time today I had to exercise later. I decided to go while my nephew was warming up for baseball, but remembered last minute that they childcare at my gym is closed on Friday evenings. Since my oldest daughter also wanted to work out, and since my ex-husband got off early today, I headed that way so he could babysit the two youngest kids. Since his apartment is close to the ballpark, and my gym is on the other side of town, I went down to the on-site gym where he lives.

I knew about 5 minutes into my workout that I was dedicated, lol! First of all, the elliptical was broken, so I got on the stationary bike. My daughter got on the treadmill. It was about 100 degrees in there because the air was barely blowing a cool breeze. It was like working out in HELL. But I did 30 minutes on that bike and didn't pass out! I knew I didn't have time to drive all the way to the gym and get back before the game started, so it was HELL or no workout. And not working out today was NOT an option!


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Day 33 - Update!



Yesterday was SUPER busy, so I didn't have a chance to post. But I was able to take a few measurements on Tuesday for a 30-ish day update for my 90-Day Challenge. I am down 2 inches in my waist and 2 inches in my chest. Hips stayed the same. I'm okay with that. My first 30 days involved the end of the school year, my birthday, and vacation. Although I think I tried to stay in the right lane, it was not 100% for all 30 days.

My goal is for the next 30 days to be very focused. No excuses. On my grind.

I started counting calories again on Monday and it's already made a huge difference. On "normal" days, I see that I am eating about 500 calories UNDER the 1900 calories I am allowed. And that's not even counting the calories I burn while exercising. And yesterday, I had a "scheduled" high calorie day (teacher inservice AND Bunco... I knew I would go over), that went WAY over what I estimated.

Point made. I NEED to count and journal so I KNOW what I am doing. I think it will make a big difference.

I bought some new workout clothes from Old Navy, and I thought I looked pretty good at the gym this morning. Sometimes I am still torn about the amount of money that I have spent on myself this month between the Body by Vi shakes and new workout gear, but I really have to remind myself that I am worth it!

I had a real Ah ha! moment at the gym today. I am going to have to make the gym a part of my life, for the rest of my life. No matter what happens from here on out, I need to exercise at least 3-5 days per week for the rest of my life. Period.

I don't know... that fact just kind of "clicked" today. I have got to stop the days of letting my gym routine and exercise schedule be pushed to the side whenever life gets busy. My life will ALWAYS be busy. Now that my ex-husband is back in the picture and helping me A LOT with the kids, I am still super-busy all the time! That won't change. But I NEED TO CHANGE the way I prioritize my time when it comes to ME AND MY HEALTH. Nothing can get in my way.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Day 30 - Counting Calories...



I really hate the scale. Hate it. But I have three of them right beside my bed. I stare at them each morning when I wake up, whether I'm on plan or not. The number on the scale is either my friend or my enemy. For the past couple of weeks, it has been my enemy.

First of all, my "best" scale is in need of a battery, so it's now as unreliable as the two that sit beside it. I haven't really been able to get an ACCURATE weigh-in since I started my 90-day challenge. But I still step on the other two, hoping for a downward trend. Which I can't seem to get.

I am beginning to get frustrated. I KNOW I am losing... something. My clothes are looser, and I can SEE a difference in my face and mid-section. But I need to see a number! It's all mental, I know.

So today, I am doing two things. I am buying a battery for my "good" scale. And I am going back to counting calories.

Over the past few weeks, I have had a few people mention that I might not be eating ENOUGH calories. My vi-shakes keep me so full that I'm never hungry anymore. So I am not really having snacks during the day, just my two shakes and a salad or something else light for dinner. But then I am also just coming back from a week of vacation where I ate out every night... I am just unable to see a "trend" right now, so I am going to count calories with the MyFitnessPal app so I can SEE what I am doing.

In the past, this works for me. Even though I HATE counting calories, I know it works.

I am claiming full success over the last 30 days. I am exercising at least 5 times per week. I am drinking 2 vi-shakes per day and eating fruits and veggies like crazy. My choices are good. My water intake is good... not great. And I feel amazing. It's all going well, except the scale. So I really feel like if I track religiously for the next 60 days of this challenge, I will start to see what the problem is and therefore see the results I know I deserve.

I'm off to the gym!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Day 24 - Strength in Numbers


Guess who joined me at the gym this morning? My oldest daughter! I was so excited, that at one point while we were rapidly pedaling away on side-by-side bikes I caught myself in the mirror smiling like an idiot. She actually ASKED to join me. She got up early and got dressed before I did. And she hung in there... no whining or complaining. We did a total of 45 minutes of cardio (bike, elliptical, and walking) and then some stretching. It was awesome.

Apparently I have inspired her to get moving. Imagine that.

I also found out today there is a BIG difference in elliptical machines. I usually get on the same type of elliptical every time I work out. But today, I got on one of the new ones with the moving handles. O. M. G. I was #dead after 10 minutes. It was so challenging! So I have decided to start switching to different types of ellipticals each day. Maybe 10 minutes on the hard one, and 20 on my usual one? Don't get me wrong, my usual elliptical still kicks butt. But at least I can make it through 30 minutes!

Today has been another BUSY day. But it's all good. I got caught up on coupon clipping and organizing. Tomorrow I will catch up on emails and some business stuff. I will get everything done... not stressing out about it.

I put out an all-call on Facebook today for people who will be my exercise/accountability partner. The response was amazing! When I decided to promote the Body by Vi 90-Day Challenge, it had a lot to do with the fact that I really want to help other people, too. There is strength in numbers. If I can get my daughter, my neighbors, my friends... everyone I know!... on this journey with me, then the chance of me failing this time gets really small. Even if the people I know are not trying to lose weight or get fit, they can keep me in check. Something! 

I talked to an old friend the week before vacation and she basically begged me to help her. She is at an all-time high weight and she is miserable. She basically needs someone to motivate her and hold her accountable and I agreed to do that job! So I texted her today to see when she wants to start. She told me that while I was on vacation, her co-worker and good friend dropped dead of a heart attack at age 33. Weight-related. Tragic. This has really pushed my friend, and it also pushed me, today, too.

I will not let my weight cause me to die. I have too much to live for. 

Now is the time.

If any of YOU need an accountability partner and would like to call/text back and forth, let me know! Shoot me an email (skinnyhollie at gmail dot com) or send me a message on Facebook (facebook.com/skinnyhollie). I would be happy to exchange numbers.

Today has been great eating-wise. Besides my two Vi-shakes, I have tons of fruit/veggies. The watermelon I got in Nashville on Sunday is DELICIOUS. Glad I got two! I had another great salad today, too. I have decided to try to eat at least ONCE salad daily so that I get plenty of veggies in. It's summer, so salads can be really good and full of yummy, seasonal veggies. And since I don't like cooked veggies, this seems right down my alley. No cheats today :)

I bought and cut my first avocado today, lol. Of course I've eaten avocado before, but never one that I bought and cut up myself.

I am off to bed... my workout calls at 9 a.m.!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Day 23 - Pressing PLAY


Today was right back on track day! I actually rocked it better than expected.

We got back from vacation late Saturday night and I spent yesterday playing catch up with grocery shopping and cleaning. I actually drove 20+ miles into Nashville to go to the Farmer's Market there for fresh fruit and veggies because the selection at Walmart and Kroger just didn't cut it. It's summer... I EXPECT great produce at this time of the year!

After making sure that the pantry was stocked with good food and that my house was clean and mostly everything was put away, I started devising a plan for this week. I am jumping head first back into my 90-day challenge because I am still determined!

I did really well with eating while on vacation... way better than I ever have. Out of 9 days on the road, I only overate dinner on 2 of those days. I had some form of exercise on 6 of those days (there were 3 days of straight driving for the most part). I was focused on making good choices at every meal. I was still whipping up my Vi shakes in my hotel room and at my in-laws. And I was drinking plenty of water. It felt good to be in control.

Today I only did 40 min of cardio at the gym. I totally RUINED my workout by stressing about phone calls that I needed to make, bills that needed to be paid, and the 10,000 things I need to catch up on. ***BTW, if I have not responded to your emails or contact requests about the 90-Day Challenge PLEASE be patient with me. I promise to get back to you ASAP! Thanks :)*** I was able to get some more cardio in after dinner today doing Just Dance on the Wii. LOVE that game!

I'm off to bed... tomorrow promises to be another busy day, but I am ready! I am excited because my oldest daughter has asked to go to the gym with me in the morning! She actually says she wants to do the challenge, too. That would be so wonderful... she fights me so bad when it comes to eating healthy and exercising. Just one more reason to stay on track, and that's to set an example for my beautiful girl. I can SHOW her that if I can do it, she can do it, too!


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hitting pause...


I am on vacation! I have waited for this week all year, and my kids and I are having a blast!

I just wanted to check in so you guys wouldn't think I'd dropped off the planet again. I am still shakin' it and staying on plan. I am allowing myself ONE meal out with my family, and I am trying to eat in moderation. My other two meals are Vi-shakes. I am doing tons of walking and SWIMMING! I am so excited to finally know how to swim. I'm not a GREAT swimmer, and I probably work too hard, lol. But hey... that's burning more calories!

I will be back home by Friday night, and will definitely give you all an update on Saturday. I really want to tell you about my challenge party, and all that has been going on with Body by Vi. Bad and good :)

Until then... I am headed to the pool!