Cize with me!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Vacation Victory

Today is a good day. I woke up this morning and decided to weigh-in... Yesterday was my 38th birthday, and today is my first "official" day of summer vacation, so I wanted a start weight.

Last week on Wednesday (the last day of school), after weeks of bad eating and out of control food behavior, I was horrified to weigh and see 270 on the scale. What. The. Hell.

I've been hovering around in the 260's for almost a year, with an occasional dive into the 250's. But 270? It was a smack in the face. My eating and lack of focus was about to put my right back to 333 lbs.

So I made up my mind that I would do better. Even though I was heading out of town for the next five days. First to rural Missouri to take care of some business concerning my mom and to watch my nephew graduate from high school. Then on a weekend getaway to St. Louis with that same nephew and my two oldest kids. We came home yesterday (Memorial Day), which was also my birthday, to a cookout and birthday celebration my bestie had for me.

My main goals was to drink 100+ oz of water each day, control portions (not necessarily restrict what I ate), not OVEReat, and exercise when I could.

Thursday was easy. I packed food to eat on the road, so I was able to skip the fast food lunch I got for the kids. It was a VERY BUSY day, so our entire family (my sister plus her family and my kids) ended up just having sandwiches for dinner. I ate a turkey sandwich, skipped the chips and sweet tea. Drank water all day.

Friday was the graduation celebration. No major temptation until Friday night, when we had a huge cookout for my nephew. I was in charge of desserts (again) and baked beans. Even though there was a ton of food, I only had my baked beans (made as light as I could get them), potato salad, and a piece of grilled chicken. One plate, one regular portion. When I almost went back for seconds, and for a hot dog, I stopped and asked myself if I was really hungry. Since the answer was NO, I didn't get more food. I had a small chess square later that evening, but overall I felt good about the day.

Saturday was my little nieces birthday, and I promised I would get up and make her french toast. I also made waffles and turkey sausage. There was a total of 11 people at my sister's house, so lots of cooking. But I only had one waffle and 1/2 slice of french toast. That big breakfast lasted me until dinner. We headed to St. Louis around 3 p.m. and had dinner there at a calzone place downtown. I ordered one with cheese only, no meat, and peppers. It was so yummy, but I didn't feel stuffed afterwards. After dinner we walked all over downtown... I got 17,000+ steps on Saturday, over 7 miles according to my Fitbit. Lots of activity, and I still drank plenty of water.

Sunday we ended up skipping the big breakfast that was planned because my teenagers slept until almost checkout time. But I enjoyed a cup of coffee, then worked out. I did 28 flights of stairs at the hotel, plus 30 minutes on the bike in the fitness room. We ended up eating at Q'doba for lunch/dinner on the way home because all the food places on our "list" was packed. I wasn't really impressed with my food, so after I was full I gave the rest to my nephew. Later that evening when we got back to my sisters house, I got pizza for all the kids since my sis and bro-in-law had been out at a softball tournament all day. Victory is that I didn't eat any pizza. I drank my water and decided to wait until I was hungry to get something else.

Yesterday was when we headed home. I ate a sandwich for breakfast before I hit the road. The 4-hour drive seemed really quick, and we went straight to my bestie's house for her memorial day cookout, where I was surprised with cake, balloons, and a dozen roses for my birthday! There was a TON of food. But there was also lots of friends there that I had not seen in forever. So, I enjoyed the day, and didn't make it about food. I ended up eating a beef hot dog with 1/2 bun, 1/2 deviled egg, and a scoop of baked beans. I also had some apple ale and a beer, which was a birthday indulgence, and some cake later on that night. But I still felt great... Any other day at a cookout like that, I would be so stuffed because I KNOW the food is amazing (my bestie can COOK) and my excuse would have been that it's my birthday.

But I'm glad I didn't overeat, because going to bed happy about my choices over the last five days was PRICELESS. Not once did I go to bed disappointed and uncomfortably stuffed with food. I enjoyed my family and friends, and didn't make this vacation about food at all. I drank my water each day, and got plenty of activity. I knew I did great, despite having every excuse not to.

SO imagine how thrilled I was to weigh in this morning almost 9 LBS LIGHTER than I did on Wednesday. I even dug out my old scale to make sure that the number was correct.

261.2

Hell. Yeah.

So it's on. Today I am back home and more determined than ever to make this summer count. No work stress. No crazy schedules. Lots of softball and lounging at the pool. I can go to the gym whenever I want. And I have plenty of time to manage my food and prepare good choices. My excuses are out the window. It's time to see some real progress again!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Peace

Funny thing... lately I've been feeling very peaceful. It's as suddenly, all of my stress and anxiety has melted away. It's not like there's been some life-changing event that has happened that suddenly has given me tons of time, money or energy. I guess my perspective has just changed. I'm REALLY trying to find the positive in every situation in my life right now. No matter the circumstance, I look for the bright side. And it's helped my outlook tremendously.

I haven't been 100% dedicated to my diet/exercise, but I haven't given up on this journey. I've just decided NOT to stress about it. I am not beating myself up about my choices, and I'm not getting down about it. I am enjoying this journey I'm on, and appreciating the progress that I've made. 

Every time I slide on a pair of size 18 pants lately, I am grateful. I remember how size 26 feels. And no matter what is happening right now, I am not there anymore. I know I'm not done with my journey... I definitely have not reached my destination. I am just enjoying the scenery during this rest stop.

I've done pretty good at maintaining my weight loss during this "pause". I am still enjoying my Smart Ones meals. My daughter makes fun of me almost every morning when I grab my Three Cheese Ziti out of the freezer to pack for lunch. I can't help it. It's my favorite. And I usually buy 5 or 6 at a time. I'll never get tired of eating cheesy pasta for lunch. Don't judge me!


Wednesday, May 21 is my last day of school before summer break! I'm so excited to get some time off. But first, my kiddos and I will go on a road trip to Missouri to see family. I'll come back on Memorial Day, which is also my 38th birthday. I figure that it will be much easier to focus after that. As long as I keep this great sense of peace I have, I'm good. No more stressing about food and numbers. I have the tools I need, and I know that this journey is all about choices. Everything will be fine as long as I keep my eyes on the road ahead. 

In the spirit of full-disclosure, I’ve partnered with the Smart Ones brand and received compensation for my participation in the clean slate project (cleanslate.com). However, all opinions given here are fully my own.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Needing a clean slate...

Once again, I find that it's time for me to wipe my slate clean and move forward. I've slipped on my eating... It started out with bad choices last week, and it started spiraling out of control this weekend.

I can blame work stress, I can blame anxiety over my mom's health, and I can blame being overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a single parent. But truth be told... it's all just excuses.

I know what to do, and I need to just get back on the wagon.

I have a meal plan all made up... Including my Smart Ones. Truth be told, I thought about just doing the Smart Ones for breakfast, lunch, and dinner since they now have breakfast options. But I don't want to get burnt out on a good thing!

I guess the lesson I keep learning is to stop beating myself up when life gets in the way of my healthy journey... It is totally possible to have a clean slate and to start over the next day. Each day that I feel guilty and beat myself up, it just makes me want to binge even more. If I would just get back up the next day, or even the next meal, and move on, it would be so much better.

I'm learning. I'm growing. And it will be okay.

It's all part of the journey. An occasional slip-up doesn't have mean that I go back to square one.

Lesson learned.


In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, I have a product review that is perfect for those of us that want to indulge without guilt. These Smart Ones fajitas were amazing! A good portion... Enough for two stuffed fajitas if you add the rice and beans like I did. So yummy!

In the spirit of full-disclosure, I’ve partnered with the Smart Ones brand and received compensation for my participation in the clean slate project (cleanslate.com). However, all opinions given here are fully my own.